he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
