Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
