apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
