Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
