the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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