someone get that fucking seahorse.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
