No, you can still breathe under the balls.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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