Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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