I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
