When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
