Buhtt sex?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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