mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
