I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Someone came in the potted fern
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
