We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
