it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
honey bunches of taint.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he was CRYING into my vagina
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
