i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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