First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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