I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
