I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Dear god my vagina.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
