I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
