How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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