you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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