you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
