so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
