If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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