Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
