Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
