the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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