Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
