his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
