I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
