My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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