I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
