Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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