everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
