i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
my god I love twenty year old dicks
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize