Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
And then my night got REAL pukey
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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