His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
