If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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