i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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