sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
