i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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