well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
