yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
