Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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