hotel room ftw
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
