..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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