Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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