ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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