After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
