i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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